First things first

Fitness Zombies, 

you will soon see them raising from their New Years graves with intentions of actually following through on that resolution they made at 12:01 am Jan 1st, right after kissing whatever it was they may have kissed and right before heaving the entire evenings libations into a pool of sick that they left for someone else to clean up..

They stagger in to the local globo gym, the Life-grind and Planet-Fatness, they are ready..

they want to get in shape now dammit!

not tomorrow, now!

they moan climbing onto the machines

cardio.....

squeezing into 200$ pants from LuLu take your money and spreading out the yoga mat they bought at the pro shop...

trim and tone...

They decide to “crush it” and blow their wad on the WOD

met con....

conditining....

The constant fitness zombie mantra is repeated with less and less conviction

“I will do whatever it takes...”

(more on this gem later)

When I get one on the phone or in the door I smile, I patiently listen for the key phrases I am wanting to hear, and sometimes I do hear them....

I have been thinking of....

I decided to ....

My plan is....

I engage the zombie, trying to keep my brain pan as far from them as possible and still seem personable

What makes you feel like you need to lose weight?

What have you tried in the past?

What can you afford?

What are your overall goals?

How will you know you have met those goals?

How fast do you want to meet your goals?

If these questions are answered and they seem reasonably ready and willing to take action, I present them with options..

option A: private personal training, 

option B: group private personal training

option C: group classes 

then we begin the fitness zombie shuffle and shift..

I can see the human in there, behind the listless eyes and last years excesses, laziness and bullshit excuses

Private training..., that seems like a lot of money (whatever it takes?)

Group Private training...I don’t think I know anyone who would be up for that

Group classes....what time do they start?

This is inevitably where I smile a little, and die a little inside

6:00 AM I reply, as spry and pleasant as I can possibly be

That is too early they say.... (whatever it takes...)

I want to laugh when I hear this, 

My day starts at 04:30am M-F and doesn’t end until 10:00 on a regular basis

I train clients, run classes, work a full time job, study and keep up on my research and what the trends are in my respective fields of interest, from physical fitness, to armed and unarmed combatives and martial arts..

And, I spend as much time with my wife as I can. 

She works a full time job, manages to run a thriving business as a potter (she makes some of the finest wheel thrown, utilitarian art I and many others have ever used), helps provide care for a woman with MS, cooks meals that make me want to throw rocks at the local chefs, and still looks like a freeqing goddess with a vacuum.

but 6am is too early to get that goal of not being overweight, out of shape, and on the short list for a host of debilitating and easily remedied issues.....

here’s the deal...

I want to help you

I want you to succeed

I want you to be fit, thin, healthy, fast, strong, and have the body of a supermodel while you consume a diet that would make a trucker blush

I want to help you get rid of that zombie virus

but I need your help to do it

You have to show up

You have to do the work

You have to keep track of your diet and exercise

You have to decide whether your goals or the extra slice of cake and pint with your mates is more important

You have to match your behavior and your goals

All I can do, is point you down the path

I will give you all the help I can to keep you on it, but I will likely only see you for a few hours at most each week

that means there are a lot of hours when you will be on your own

You

have 

To

Walk

That

Path

You can call me, text me, email me...I will try to help you if I can but you have to be willing to act

so...

the help I am going to offer you right now is this

I know it is January, and your resolutions are fresh in your mind, you are ready, you want to change

I want to help, 

Come to any of the classes I teach, in Apple Valley (Tue/Thu 6:00-7:00am) or Uptown (Mon/Wed/Fri 6:00-7:00am) and I will give you a 1 week trial free

If you decide you like the way I work, and you like the classes, you can sign up for the 90 Day Challenge which includes: 

• a 30 day supply of Essential Nutrition Supplements
• A pdf manual outlining a simple method of managing your diet and exercise, including full workouts, detailed explanations with you tube links to demonstrations of the exercises, and progressions that can be scaled to any ability or fitness level.
• A 90 Day Money Back Guarantee, should you try the program, and not get results

I will do this because I want you to be rid of that Zombie virus, I want you to be human again, I want you to move like a cheetah on greased roller skates in a thong bikini and 

feel good about it.

I want you to be awesome.

so

go call me

email me

text me

or stop by either the Uptown or Apple Valley locations and say 

“hello, my name is _____, and I want to be awesome”

Whatever It Takes

This one is a little less light hearted, it has more to do with the self defense and martial aspects of my role as an instructor and coach.

While taking part in a course given by Rory Miller and Marc Macyoung last summer titled “Dynamics of Violence” 

A conversation was had regarding what people were willing to do to help themselves, to defend themselves, to defend others...

It was a very thought provoking conversation

In a room full of men that daily daily don weapons and the authority given them by the state and federal government to place themselves between the people they protect (us out here in joe citizen land) and the baddie bad guys that would do the things the do do to earn, score, or get their kicks. I saw men and women go a little pale when we hit a certain point in the conversation, I felt that chill myself as I thought it through

People commonly say “I would do whatever it takes” to accomplish a task, meet a goal, get something, make something happen....

would you not eat for a day or more?

would you stop drinking beer/vodka insert your drink of choice?

would you put a dollar in a jar every day and never take a dollar out?

would you beg?

would you borrow?

would you steal?

would you commit a minor crime?

would you commit a major crime?

would you hurt someone to help someone else?

would you use a weapon to hurt someone to help someone, or just to meet a need?

would you put someone in the hospital?

would you put someone in the morgue?

would you stab someone with a knife?

would you hit someone with a bat or a brick, or a tire iron?

would you wait in the bushes until you could surprise someone and beat them unconscious?

would you duct tape another human to a chair and use a cordless drill to make them give you what you wanted?

would you murder someone, not kill but murder? 

would you hit a woman?

would you hit a child?

would you shoot a man?

would you shoot a woman?

would you shoot a child?

would you prostitute yourself?

would you prostitute your wife or husband?

would you prostitute your child?

would you prostitute some one else’s child?

that’s where it got really quiet and kinda chilly in the room

right there, on the child thing....

and the sick and sad truth is, that here, in a first world nation, in one of the most technologically advanced and prosperous nations in the history of mankind, people do all of those things, every single one of them, every item on that list, for less than the cost of a dinner and an movie, every day.

A 10$ rock of crack will buy you a lot in some places

What do you think a sandwich is worth to a man that has not eaten for 4 days and hears you complaining about your smart phone not updating your facebook status fast enough as you walk out of the bank? 

Truth is

you and I 

will do whatever we can, whatever we are capable of, to meet the need of the time, depending on how bad that need is, and the time...

chilly?

But when people tell me they will do whatever it takes to lose a pound of fat, or put another 10lbs on their deadlift, or shrink their waist size by that wedding they need to be in shape for, or.....

I have listened to people tell me that they have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, but they refuse to change the way they eat or consider removing the stress from their lives.

I have listened to people tell me that they have prostate cancer and are going to have surgery that will leave them impotent and wearing a diaper for the remainder of their days, but they won’t give up the lifestyle that got them there.

I have listened to people tell me how much they want to quit smoking, while they light another one.

Whatever it takes

Thinking about my history

about having been homeless, eating out of garbage cans, sleeping in the open and worrying about base survival, and also having been so scared from the violence going on around me that I shit my self, for real. Having seen the depths to which other humans are willing to go to satisfy their needs and desires, and knowing what I am capable of, and what I am willing to do, when someone says whatever it takes, I always chuckle a little

just like I did when we were in that conference room surrounded by hard men and women that face “whatever it takes” every day.

Don’t say whatever it takes to me, 

It immediately puts you on my “you may or may not be completely full of shit” list, and closer to the “may be” end, than the “may not” end.

Say whatever I am capable of

this is more true, 

I am always amazed at what people find themselves capable of,

how a woman can overcome the fear of the pain involved in squatting past parallel, or in just bending at the waist, and get back to maintaining her body with the 18lb piece of iron with a handle on it that she likes to move with.

how people can come from having an almost life ending accident that takes a limb, to their trying to be of service to the community they used to be at odds with.

how men and women are willing to put their bodies in the fire, between bullets and other people, and between death and the preservation of an idea, every day without a thought

so when people tell me they will do whatever it takes, 

except that....

I kinda want to ask them very gently to go away from me

but I know

I know that right there and then

they have not really considered all of these things

and that they are simply willing to do what they are capable of at the moment

and that what I am asking may be out of that range

It is ok

I get it

and in the context of health and fitness, I can actually accept and work within those parameters without too much issue

I just wanted to muse a little on that subject, and put that out there for folks to think on

contemplate that on the tree of woe

now bring me another bourbon, I have more writing to do before the evening ends

"What's Your Fat Ass Doing Here?-its my only means of conveyance......"